Falling in Love

What if the Christianity you’ve been taught your whole life was wrong?

Too often, Christianity is boiled down to a list of rules. There are the "do" rules and the "do not" rules. The things you are supposed to do and the things you are not supposed to do. We focus so much on these rules we become obsessed.

We become so obsessed with these rules, we even decide we will inflict these rules upon other people, not merely upon ourselves. (Something, by the way, the Bible never tells us to do.)

We are so obsessed with these rules, we add other rules, not even in the Bible (much like the Pharisees before us), in order to have more rules!

We become so obsessed with these rules, we use them to judge and shame each other when those rules are broken or not followed in the way we think they should be. We push people out of the church because of them.

Now, don't get me wrong, the Bible does contain certain instructions about correcting false teachers and maintaining discipline within the church. However, the way in which we have done this and the extent we have gone to has surely not met Biblical standards. Especially since often we are shaming people for things they did before they even became Christian. Or we're shaming seekers for their lives out in the world. The Bible says not to judge the world – God is the judge of the world. We are only to correct teaching within the church.

But what if all this obsessing has led us astray? What if Christianity isn't about the rules at all?

What if it is about love?

I’ve been reading a lot in one of my classes about covenant relationships. The Jewish people, the people of Israel, were in a covenant relationship with God. There was a part He completed, and a part for them to complete. When they failed to keep up their part of the covenant, as we all do, God, the other half of the agreement, made a way to repair that relationship.

The Bible describes Christian believers as also being in a covenant with God. Think of the covenant like a marriage agreement. In a marriage, there should be love. The things you do to show love to your spouse are not things you feel obligated to do, but rather things you want to do. They’re not written into the contract as do and do nots. You do things for each other out of love.

Even being faithful to your spouse is an act of love. If it is seen as a rule that must not be broken, the little lawlessness spirit inside of us is going to want to break it. But if we see it as I am doing this because I love this person, then it becomes less about rules and prohibitions and more about the relationship. And if we have our eyes focused on that person, we won't stray towards others, anyway.

Our relationship with God is similar. He loves us, and we grow in our love for Him. Maybe Christianity is not as much about rule-following as it is about learning to accept God's love and to love Him in return. The more we abide in His love, the less we will want to do the things He says are not good for us. The things that will draw our attention away from Him and make us unfaithful. And, the more we abide in Him, the more we will want to do the things that are important to Him. 

Consider a pair of newlyweds who are madly in love. They put other pursuits aside in order to spend time together. They are interested in what their partner is interested in. They want to make the other person happy and put their needs first. Infidelity is not even on their radar because there is no one else in their vision. They only have eyes for one another.

This is the way God sees us, not even just when we first come to faith, but through our whole lives. This is the way for us to see Him, too.

I have a strong woman of God in my life who talks about how in love with Jesus she is. Sometimes I feel cynical when people say that because I don’t know if they truly mean it or if they're merely trying to sound super-spiritual or "Christian-y". But when she says it, you can tell she really means it.  She has an intimacy with Jesus that most of us only dream about or don’t even think is possible.

But it is possible. And God wants that for all of us. Sin is taking our eyes off of Jesus much like adultery is focusing on someone other than your spouse.  However, the more love there is, the less likely we are to take our eyes away.

God's love is infinite. The problem is our love. Our love is fickle, changes with the seasons, and can be easily distracted. So how do we grow in love for God?

How do we grow - and stay - in love with our spouses? Through spending time with them! Through expressing and receiving love. Through doing things we enjoy together.

Similarly, to grow in love with God means to spend time with Him. He is certainly easy to love when we get to know Him! We spend time with Him through reading and studying the Bible, through prayer, and through worship. Some people spend time with God through other acts of faith as well, like fasting or communion or prayer walks. We also join a faith community where God is central and the focal point of church is to meet with Him.

God is near. If we seek Him, we will find Him.

And maybe, we will fall in love.