I'm about to be real honest.
It has been a true struggle coming back from vacation.
I usually don't vacation well. I stress... a lot. I stress about the day to day activities and schedule. I stress about everything I left back home and need to do. I stress about our house and our pets and are they okay without us. I stress about is everyone getting enough sleep and enough to eat and having fun.
But this time... I didn't stress. By day two on the island, I was... relaxed. Laid back. Not worried about a thing. I let go of all the worries and work I left behind.
I felt... lighter. Incredibly so.
When I returned, however, all the weight I normally carry came crashing down upon me. And while it usually feels manageable, after experiencing true rest, it feels way too heavy.
In no particular order: my job, my kids, my marriage, my house, my blog, my schooling...
So. Much.
Yet, thinking over it all, there is nothing I would want to let go of or change. (Except cooking. I would GLADLY give up cooking and meal planning.) I enjoy all those things. They're just a lot sometimes.
Especially when I experienced what it was like without all the weight.
Unfortunately, we can't be on vacation all the time. It's not practical or possible. Double unfortunately, it is fairly common for women especially to carry a great deal of weight all the time. Even those of us who work full-time still carry the weight of full-time taking care of the home and kids, as well. It's untenable in many ways, and yet, we manage to pull it off.
Most of the time, at least.
There are other issues which bog us down, also, making the weight even more unbearable. Issues like past trauma, shame, guilt, low self-esteem, resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. These are like vines growing up from the ground, wrapping around our ankles and pulling us down until we are unable to move forward.
In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." "Weary and burdened" sounds about right, but, what kind of rest does Jesus offer us?
I have often heard this verse explained as a release from the law. The people were burdened under the weight and requirements of the law - both the written law of the Torah and the additional laws the Pharisees were imposing upon the people, making it difficult for them to come to God. We often put a similar yoke upon ourselves with the rules of religion. Some say Jesus gives us rest because He fulfilled the law so we no longer have to work for righteousness, it is given to us freely through His blood. Those who argue against this interpretation point out where Jesus says He didn't come to abolish the law (Matthew 5:17).
Others argue that the rest Jesus offers is a release from the bondage of sin. Jesus does say we have life in Him (John 10:10), and Paul talks extensively about how we are no longer slaves to sin. With new life in Him comes a release from shame and guilt, as well, if we accept it and learn to forgive ourselves as He has forgiven us.
Certainly rest doesn't mean Jesus will do everything for us. He won't wash the dishes or do the laundry or complete the project due on Friday or write a book report.
Perhaps the rest offered to us is hope.
Consider:
Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Romans 5:3-4 - Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 - For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Hope gives us strength and perseverance and the power of the Spirit. Hope allows us to maintain our focus on Him. Hope allows us to remember our troubles are temporary. Hope focuses us on the things that matter - God and others - the only things which will last eternally.
Hope allows us to rest in Him.
As I settle back into the day to day of life, I am casting my cares upon Him. I am praying for strength and courage to keep running the race and fighting the good fight. Like Peter walking upon the water, I need to not focus on the storm but on the One who calms the storm.
Lord, help me to fix my eyes upon You.
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