My assignment this week for one of my classes was to watch an inspiring video of Henry Nouwen and then share what I took away from it with others. This is my sharing.
Some of you may be familiar with Henry Nouwen, a Dutch pastor, theologian, and prolific writer who lived from 1932-1996. I have read a few of his books, and this week had the opportunity to watch a video of him speaking on our identity (link above if you want to watch it). It was a powerful speech, and I would like to share it with you.
Nouwen starts by noting that in the grand scheme of life, our presence here on Earth is remarkably short and goes by fast. One of the main questions we strive to answer during our life is - who am I? The way we answer this question highly influences the way we live.
The first way we may answer this question is by saying, "I am what I do." If we write books or create new music or play quarterback or are successful in business or raise happy kids - that is who we are. When we do well, we feel good. When we don't do well, however, we feel low.
Those who find their identity in "I am what I do" may be focused on success or achievement or working hard - too hard, in many cases. In the church, we put our own spin on it, where we focus on living as "holy" as possible, often while relying on our own strength rather than on His. We pride ourselves as having perfect attendance at church, avoiding the breaking of the commandments (or at least most of them), and speaking positively. We may pride ourselves more on the things we do not do, versus what we do. When we ultimately mess up, because we all mess up, we question whether or not God still accepts us.
A second way we may answer this question is by saying, "I am what others say I am." This speech was in 1993 so he didn't make note of social media, but certainly that plays a big part nowadays. If our photos get enough likes or our profile gets enough swipes or we get enough positive feedback, we feel good. But when we don't, when we go unnoticed or people make negative comments about us, we feel low.
Those who find their identity in "I am what others say I am" often live inauthentically. We feel the need to present only the best part of ourselves, even if we are merely faking it. We hide anything that may draw criticism or show a weakness. In church, when people ask how we are we confidently say, "Blessed!" even when it's untrue. A sharp word - whether from someone we know in person or a stranger online - may push us into defense mode.
The third way Nouwen mentions that we may answer this question is by saying, "I am what I have." If we have wealth and possessions or power and influence, or if we have family and friends, or if we have our health, we feel good. When we lose those things, however, we feel low.
Those who identify as "I am what I have" never feel like they have enough. They are always worried about their finances and their possessions, and the size of their house or network or 401k. They may be obsessed with keeping healthy or staying in shape. When the economy dips, or a job is lost, or their health takes a hit, they lose themselves.
Whichever of these we may lean into leads to many ups and downs in our life. There is no consistency. Our identity, our sense of self, our well-being, may ricochet up and down on any given day - or even several times a day! These identities are false identities, with no foundation to help ground us.
Nouwen declares, "All of this is wrong!" You are not any of those things. You are more than any of those things.
Who does the Bible say you are?
"I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." - Isaiah 49:16
"I have loved you with an everlasting love." - Jeremiah 31:3
“You are the sons and daughters of the living God." - Hosea 1:10
You are the beloved child of God.
He was the first to ever love you. Before your parents, before your friends, before your coaches or teachers - God loved you. He loves you still.
This identity should be core to who we are. Because if we hold on to our identity as beloved children of God, it anchors us. Regardless of how circumstances change around us, we are grounded on who we are. Rather than ricocheting up and down, we have the core identity as our foundation, and we build upwards from there. Any downside, any setback, any negativity, any loss, doesn't shake our foundation.
Nouwen didn't go here in this speech, but I want to add something here. Just as we are beloved children of God, so is every other human being on the planet. Regardless of whether or not a person believes in God, he/she/they is still a beloved child of God. Belief, or lack thereof, doesn't change that reality.
What does this mean? This means every time we engage with another we are engaging with a beloved child of God. There is no person on this planet God does not love or see as His beloved. This should affect how we see one another. How we treat one another. How we consider the dignity and rights of one another.
When we are grounded in our foundation as beloved children of God, it also grounds us to serve and love others, as Christ first loved us (1 John 4:19). It gives us reason to support justice and compassion and peace for all. It gives us meaning to everything else we do and say and live and be.
I'll admit it is not easy to rest in the knowledge of being beloved. The world has taught us differently. Our own experience with broken love and being hurt by those who "love" us has taught us differently.
But that's not who God is.
And that's not who we were created to be.
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