To Really Know Someone

Published on 17 December 2024 at 15:51

Many years ago, I worked in refugee resettlement. The agency I worked with received refugees from all over the world and helped them to settle into new lives here in the United States. There was an incredible diversity in the people we welcomed - from their language and culture, to their education and economic status previous to becoming a refugee, to their mood and level of excitement - or not - about coming to the U.S.

No one becomes a refugee by choice.

We received bios on these refugees prior to accepting them and planning for their care. The bios were brief considering they encompassed an individual's entire life. They contained information such as the individual's name, date of birth, country of origin, family members petitioning with them, and any health or mental health concerns, if previously identified. Then there was a short history of the person, which usually was a highlights reel of the tragedies they had endured which had led to their current status and need for resettlement. 

My co-worker, who had worked with refugees for 25 years at the time I met her, would often say how it astounded her every time she would go to the airport to pick-up a new arrival. It astounded her because after reading their bio and all the horrible things they had been through, she expected them to "pour off the plane into a puddle on the floor." Yet, over and over again, they walked off the plane, nervous, yes, apprehensive, sure, but overall strong and resilient and capable. 

Just reading a bio wasn't sufficient to truly know the person prior to meeting them in person. Even then, it took working with them for a few months to understand what they needed, and even longer to truly know them and befriend them.

Relationships are like that, aren't they? We might see someone's profile on social media or on a dating app or something and learn a few things about them, but we don't truly know them until spending actual time together. The people we know the best are the people we spend the most time with.

There have been studies done looking at couples who have been together for decades. One thing they have found is that many times these couples begin to resemble each other. They pick up similar habits, similar mannerisms, similar ways of speech and similar expressions. Because they have spent such a great amount of time together, they have influenced one another.

I remember a sweet mentor of mine who gave me some great advice a few years back. She was 94 at the time, still living on her own and getting around by herself. She was a powerhouse prayer warrior. I recall saying to her, "I feel sometimes as though I know more about God, than I actually know God."

That might still be the case. People tease me that I like to collect degrees, and it's funny because it's true. I've studied a lot of theology and apologetics and Biblical studies and now, Christian history, too, and I know a lot about God.

But I've been challenged lately with the question - how well do I truly know God?

My sweet mentor responded to me that knowing God is just like knowing a person - the more time you spend with Him, the better you will know Him.

Knowing about God is like reading someone's bio. You learn the highlights. Some of the history. Maybe even what other people say or think about Him. But it's not the same as knowing Him. There are Biblical Studies professors at high-ranking universities across the country who know a lot about the Bible and a lot about God - but they don't know Him. They don't even believe in Him. They have information, but not a relationship.

If we truly want to know God, we must spend time with Him. What does that look like? 

Spending time with God looks like dedicated times of prayer and meditation on His Word. It looks like fasting, whether from food or from distractions (ie. social media) in order to have more focused time with Him. It means reading Scripture, not just as we would read something academic, but while asking the Holy Spirit to speak to us through what we read. It means spending time in worship of a Great and Mighty God who deserves it all.

These activities can be done alone, but there is something powerful about coming together with a Christian community to seek God's presence. After all, Jesus promised that wherever two or more are gathered in His name, He is there (Matthew 18:20). When we seek Him with others, we can more effectively be ushered into His presence IF, and this is a big 'if', you are attending a church who desires to seek Him. There are many churches who do not. There are churches which serve more like social clubs than worship centers, focused on either puffing up the leadership or putting on a show or making people feel good rather than on seeking God's presence. So, there's that. If you want more of God's presence, finding a church as interested in seeking Him as you are.

My seminary program has a voluntary but highly encouraged component called Spiritual Formation. All seminary students are encouraged to join a Spiritual Formation group and focus on their own spiritual health while going through the program. I love this, because I often need such accountability to stay motivated in seeking God through my own prayer and study time. Homework is great, but it is not a dedicated devotion. I need that - I need Him. We are told to have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). How can we do that if we don't even know Him? 

Have you ever met someone who spends a lot of time with God? I have. Just being near them, sometimes you get something like a contact high! In Exodus 34, it is said that after Moses spent time in God's presence, his face shone so brightly the Israelites were afraid, and he had to wear a veil. 

Is it weird that I want that? I want people to get a contact high around me. I want to spend so much time with God that my face shines. I want to spend so much time with God that I am influenced by Him and take on His habits and mannerisms and speech patterns. 

Yet, I am in a constant battle with my flesh. My flesh which would rather laze around binge-watching old TV shows or dead scrolling through social media rather than spending time with Him. As Paul wrote, "For what I want to do I do not do" (Romans 7:15).

In this world many things will compete for our attention. We live in an information-overloaded culture, with distractions everywhere. And it's not even that they're bad, necessarily, but rather that they pull us away from what is good.

Like any new habit, spending time with God might be difficult at first, but if you push through, it is rewarding. 

What are you doing to spend more time with God?

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