I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this: Our identity is intricately intertwined with our spiritual formation.
Let me explain.
Truth be told, I honestly didn’t know much or care much about politics until 2016. I did vote for Obama. Twice, I believe. But I never participated in the other elections for governor or city officials. I didn’t really think much about what the government did. I was always much more concerned about the Church, I suppose. Or maybe I simply trusted that one way or another, the government would use checks and balances to maintain our democratic system in the way it was supposed to be. The way I learned in school that it worked. I didn't think it affected me one way or another (I know, my privilege is showing).
You could say, Trump radicalized me. But it would be more specific to say, the Church's obsession with and backing of Trump is what radicalized me, because I no longer recognized the Church. Although, the more I’ve read about church history and American history, even, the more I see that the spirit that elected him to the White House - twice - is deeply rooted within the Church. This is not a new phenomenon after all. My eyes were opened. I became woke, I guess you could say.
Here’s my concern. Christian nationalism is deceitful because it draws people away from Jesus. It confuses patriotism with Christian duty, obedience to American leaders with obedience to Christ, and the pledge of allegiance to the flag with a commitment to discipleship. It contorts the identity of a Christian.
As I am more and more compelled to speak out against the injustices being committed by this administration, as well as the Church's either silence or direct complicity with these injustices, I worry that my identity will also be compromised. I don’t want to be so consumed with this battle that I forget who I am. That I forget whose I am. Ultimately, I am not first and foremost a democrat. I am not first and foremost a protester. I am not first and foremost an advocate for justice.
I am first and foremost, or at least I want to be, a disciple of Jesus. One infinitely loved and chosen by Him. I want that to be my identity. I want that to be the reason why I do or say the things I do and say. I want that to be all-consuming in who I am.
I want it to ground me. I wanted it to define me. And anything else that comes out of me, I want to come from that place of knowing who I am in Christ.
I want to take Jesus' words seriously. I want to be a Matthew 25 Christian. I want to be a champion for people because God loves people. I want "love your neighbor as yourself" to mean that I want the same for my neighbor that I want for myself.
It is so easy to make the same mistake as Christian Nationalism, but on the other side. (Is there a name for the other side? I don’t know.) It's easy to make something else my identity.
The other concern I have is this: How do I protect my heart and my soul from all the hate and division and deceit so prevalent right now, not just in our country but in our churches? I don’t want to become the very thing I stand against.
I think the answer to both these concerns is to stay near to Jesus.
I’m taking a Spiritual Formation class in seminary right now. I thought the class would be on how we help others grow in their spiritual formation, but it’s not. It’s on how we, as people training to be Christian leaders, maintain our own spiritual formation. It’s a highly reflective class and participatory class, where we are studying and practicing multiple spiritual disciplines.
Most people when they think of spiritual disciplines think about prayer, scripture reading, maybe fasting. Certainly, church attendance. But we’re reading this book called "The Spiritual Disciplines Handbook" by Calhoun, and there are a hundred different spiritual disciplines in there! I had never even considered many of these practices as spiritual disciplines. It’s highly encouraging to think about all the different ways we can invest in who we are and how we grow in Christ.
Because, ultimately, the Christian walk isn’t just something we do. Justice isn’t just something we do. Good works aren't just something we do. These things should come from who we are. And who we are doesn’t change without Jesus.
If you find yourself in the same boat as me, wondering how to protect your heart and soul, wondering how to keep your identity wrapped in the right place, hold onto Jesus. Spend time with him. Find the spiritual disciplines that work for you. Find a community of believers, your tribe, who encourage you along.
Don’t let go.
He certainly won’t let go of you.
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