Talk About It

Published on 10 June 2024 at 16:39

Trigger warning: this post talks about suicide. If this is an issue close to you, you might want to skip this one. There are resources listed at the end of the post if needed.

 

I have mentioned previously that in my current job, I am a trauma-informed professional development trainer. I recently went through a new training to prepare me to teach suicide prevention methods. I have done some training before on suicide – after all, I was trained as a mental health therapist – but I must say this was one of the most comprehensive trainings on suicide I have ever taken. It had up-to-date statistics, information on assessment and evaluation, as well as on how to intervene and what interventions are most helpful. It was very eye-opening.

I think the statistic which most blew my mind was the one that stated 1 out of every 61 people in the United States has a family member who has died by suicide. I think every single one of us knows about a famous person, a musician or actor or TikTok influencer, who died by suicide. However, I didn’t realize so many of us have been personally affected. If you look at the numbers of how many have known somebody who has attempted suicide or even contemplated suicide, the numbers are much, much higher.

Suicide is an epidemic. It is a public health issue. It is everywhere. 

According to the CDC, we lose around 49,000 people a year to suicide. That's 1 death every 11 minutes. Even with such a staggering number, the true number may be higher. There are some deaths where we cannot be certain if it was a suicide or not, and so are ruled accidents, instead. Another over 12 million considered suicide, and 1.7 million made attempts.

Why? Why is suicide on the rise in every age group in the US? It should be noted mental illness rates have also been on the rise, and mental illness, especially depression, is very linked to suicide. What's going on?

I've talked before on this blog about the loneliness epidemic and the loss of community. I think that's a big part of what we are seeing. People are isolated and alone. They don't have support. And times are hard. We just came through a global pandemic, which isolated us even more from one another. Cost of living is increasing (lining the pockets of the 1%) while pay is not. With rising stress comes rising trauma - higher rates of domestic violence, child abuse, juvenile delinquency, crime, family breakdown, etc. All which increase the risk of mental illness and suicide.

It's all connected in a vicious cycle.

Since I am studying in seminary while working, my mind automatically began to process how the one impacts the other. In other words, what can the church do about this epidemic?

In the church, suicide is often considered a controversial issue - perhaps even more so than mental illness. I was fascinated to learn in my course that there are 8 to 10 incidents of suicide in the Bible, none of which are condemned. Nowhere in the Bible does it explicitly say that suicide is a sin. It was apparently Saint Augustine who declared suicide an unpardonable sin, and that belief is still so commonly perpetuated in the church that many people believe the idea that those who die by suicide go to hell is Scriptural. But, again, it is not. 

It is not the intent of this blog to debate whether or not people who commit suicide go to hell. I will say, however, that I personally don’t believe it. I believe if the person knew Jesus and trusted in Him for their salvation, that Jesus will be faithful to redeem them. One thing I know for sure, is that for those who are grieving, comments about their loved ones' eternal destination are unhelpful at best and are more likely to be incredibly harmful.

The intent of this blog is to consider how to support those in the midst of this crisis.

Perhaps one of the greatest things we can do for people who are contemplating suicide, is just to name it. To help reduce the stigma around mental health, mental illness, and suicide. By saying these things out loud, even from the pulpit, by normalizing these as struggles that people have, we can reduce barriers. This makes it safer for people who are struggling to seek help.

It is crucial we do not shame people for how they are feeling. Nor should we see suicidality as merely a spiritual issue. It may be, but more often than not it is a symptom of a bigger issue. The person may not be able to simply "pray it away" or "cast out those thoughts in Jesus' name". God can heal people from depression and suicidality, 100% He can, but many times, people need to seek out support and treatment to get through it, just as God can heal people from cancer in the blink of an eye, but many times, people need to seek out support and treatment to get through it.

We should not see mental health and physical health differently. We can support the individual struggling with suicidal thoughts just as we support the individual with cancer. We come alongside them, we pray, we encourage, and we help connect them to what they need.

The church is - or should be - a community of believers. We can be the community that people seek. We can be a place of refuge for the lonely and the alone. We can help carry the burden and lighten the stress. That is what the early church did (Acts 4:32-34). We should consider how we might live this out today.

We can be present with survivors in their grief, listening to their regrets and questions and confusion, and providing a shoulder to lean on. Those who have lost someone to suicide are at a much higher risk of dying by suicide themselves, especially if it is a parent who died, and therefore are in need of increased support.  

For those who are making comments about considering suicide, we must take every comment seriously. We should give them our full attention. We should not be afraid to ask the question, are you considering suicide? Are you considering ending your life? 90-95% of people who die by suicide expressed feelings about wanting to die beforehand. This shows some ambivalence about the idea of dying. When someone expresses these thoughts, we need to get them help and connect them to resources. We can listen, encourage and give hope, but ultimately, we need to have a professional involved. The majority of people contemplating suicide are suffering from depression or another mental illness. They may therefore need mental health assistance from a mental health professional, which could include medication or proven therapy methods.

The important thing to remember, is that there is help available. There are treatments that are shown to be effective. And, the really good news is that the majority of people who are contemplating suicide or who attempt suicide and subsequently receive help, will never be suicidal again.

In summary, topics like suicide are hard for all of us - perhaps especially for the church. But we cannot avoid these topics simply because they are difficult. We cannot avoid them because the reality is, suicide is out there. There are people in our congregations who are struggling or who have been touched by suicide. The church as a community needs to step up and be there for those who need it.

The world needs us, Church. Wake up and go love on people.

 

RESOURCES:

*If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts or suicide, please contact the national crisis line, at: 988 (U.S. only). Help is out there. The world is brighter with you in it.*

*If you have lost someone to suicide and need support, please visit the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors for information on services near you.*

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