In the arena of mental health, we talk quite a bit about triggers. Triggers are sights, sounds, smells, textures, tastes, or experiences which remind us of a traumatic event. Sometimes, triggers can activate a body's self-defense system, setting us instantly into fight or flight mode or into a flashback of the event so paralyzing it is as though we are re-living it.
In the trainings I teach on trauma, I often give a "trigger warning" as one of the first things I say, right after my introduction. A trigger warning sounds like this: "We are going to talk about trauma today, which I recognize is a sensitive subject, especially for those of us who have either themselves been personally affected or had someone close to them affected by this issue. Therefore, I encourage you as we go through the training to be conscious of your body and your reactions to the material. If at any time you need to take a break or step away to take care of yourself, please do so. Just come back when you are ready."
Of course, I try not to trigger people. I try to be sensitive in how I present the information. But sometimes, you can't prevent everything. Oftentimes people don't even know their own triggers. Triggers are subconscious and involuntary and, especially without therapy or support, can be out of their control.
Lately, I've heard another term thrown around: "glimmers". Glimmers* are triggers, too, but in the opposite way. Instead of provoking fear or panic or sadness, glimmers bring feelings of joy and peace and happiness. Glimmers are reminders of good times, positive memories, or loved ones. Glimmers are those brief moments that give us hope.
I wonder if sometimes as we tiptoe around our triggers, we miss out on the glimmers.
A drop of dew on the morning grass.
A butterfly, flitting around brightly colored flowers.
The first smiles of an infant.
The whisper of the breeze against our face.
A cold drink, on a hot day.
A warm drink, on a cold day.
Getting a phone call from an old friend.
The contagious giggles of a child.
A rainbow, after a storm.
Glimmers. Where do you find yours?
Truth is, we live in a beautiful world which was created specifically for us. We have a Creator who loves us deeply and individually and a Savior who has made the way for us to be in relationship with Him.
Yes, life is full of trauma and loss and evil and evil people. All we have to do is watch the news for ten minutes to know that, let alone look at our own lives.
But if we focus only on the bad, we'll miss the good.
This is not the same as looking for a silver lining. Some experiences have no silver lining! Some experiences just, for lack of a better word, suck. Looking for glimmers is not about diminishing the experience of a traumatic experience. Looking for glimmers is about seeking out cues in the environment that help us feel positively, rather than negatively.
I do not believe God protects us from every bad thing that comes our way. I suspect He protects us from more than we know, but we will all still go through bad things. That's just how this Earth, this life, works. The sins of others and our own failings will repeatedly put us in bad situations. However, even in the bad, I believe there are moments, glimmers, of God's grace and presence shining through. I believe there are glimmers of God with us, if only we look for them.
For example: With my younger son, I experienced a traumatic birth. He and I both almost died. We didn't, by the grace of God and the prayers of our church who surrounded us. But we could have.
It would be easy to focus on how frightening and painful and uncertain that time was, and to let those feelings overwhelm me.
Or...
I could focus on how part of why we survived was because everyone who was needed to do an emergency c-section was already right there, in the surgery room, having just finished a routine procedure, and therefore they got in there right away. Glimmer.
I could focus on the nurse who came and told me the day after that she recognized me from church, and that she was the first one to receive the baby, and she wanted me to know he was received in prayer. Glimmer.
I could focus on the friend who took in my older child so my husband could be with us until my parents arrived. Glimmer.
I could focus on the first time I saw my baby, and he turned his head towards me when he heard my voice. Glimmer.
There were glimmers of God's grace and presence throughout. God never left me. God never failed me.
Every day has its pains and frustrations and difficulties.
But.
Every day also has its glimmers - hints of God's presence with you.
Look for the glimmers. Seek them out. Celebrate them.
And thank God for them.
*The concept of glimmers is attributed to Deb Dana, LCSW.
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