I’ve been knocked out sick all week, which means I’ve had lots of time to lounge around in bed with my eyes too blurry to read, so I’ve been catching up on movies. I found this 2021 movie on Netflix called "Moxie". It sounded interesting so I decided to give it a try.
I was BLOWN AWAY. It was incredibly inspiring and really made me think.
The movie, if you’re not familiar, is about a group of high school students who are fed up with how the boys in their school sexually harass the girls and the administration never does anything about it. They seem to write it off with a "boys will be boys" kind of chuckle, especially since the worst offenders are on the school's football team. Ironically, it is not a very good football team and they don’t usually win, but it is still one of their most well-funded programs.
Well, the girls start a feminist club to protest the treatment they receive, and in doing so root out even worse things that have happened at their school, including a rape. Their moxie is what is so inspiring.
But here’s what it made me think. This message of "boys will be boys" is very prevalent in our culture, and so very dangerous. Because it's "boys will be boys" in elementary school when they’re flipping up girls' skirts or pushing girls down on the playground. And then it's "boys will be boys" in middle school when they're slapping girls on their butts or trying to grab their boobs. And then it's "boys will be boys" in high school when they won’t take no for an answer.
Where does it end?
Shaking our heads with a wry chuckle at "boys will be boys" empowers boys to behave even worse. To believe they can get away with it. To believe they don't have to accept a "no", that it's their genetically given right to take whatever they want.
If they are continually allowed to get away with this behavior, they go on to be men who sexually harass their co-workers, or even require sexual favors from their subordinates. They go on to be men who abuse or control their girlfriends or their wives. They go on to be men who push women out of the workplace, believe women belong in prescribed "traditional" home-making roles, and are threatened by women in power.
Why? Why do we allow this behavior?
It is interesting that in churches, you rarely hear a message condemning men for sexually harassing women. I’ve heard plenty of messages about women, and how we need to be modest and we need to be appropriately dressed and respectful and obey our men, etc., etc., but I can count on one hand the messages I've heard about how men should be respectful towards women. Or how men should treat a woman. Or how men should not treat a woman.
We often blame men’s bad behavior... on women. It's her fault, for dressing or behaving that way. It's her fault, for leading him on. It's her fault, for not keeping her man "satisfied".
We rarely turn the gaze back on men. We rarely hold them accountable for their own behavior.
Does the Bible do that? Does the Bible blame women for the sins of men?
Obviously, at least, I hope it’s obvious, the answer is a resounding NO.
The Bible DOES say:
"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire." - Matthew 18:9
"Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. " - Ephesians 5:4
"In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." - Ephesians 5:28
"Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money." - 1 Timothy 3:2-3
It is shocking to me - no, I take that back. It is no longer shocking to me. I wish it were. There are not just one, but two men, who have thrived because of this "boys will be boys" mantra, and now, they are running for the highest office our country has to offer. Men who have clearly shown by their words and their behavior over and over again that they have no respect for women, that they see women merely as toys or adornments. Men who believe they are above the law and who, thanks to their wealthy friends, often prove to be so. Men who, if they had their way, would turn our democracy into an autocracy where the only ones with any type of privilege or rights or money at all, will be wealthy white men.
How did we get here? How did we allow this to happen?
In the film, they say (which I’m sure is a quote from someone famous): there are two kinds of evil - the people who commit evil, and the ones who say nothing while they do.
Boys will be boys not only because of the boys themselves not being taught properly, but because of all the rest of the people around them who say nothing.
What are we saying? What are we doing? How are we fighting this? Because nothing about this is OK.
Today our president made the difficult decision to drop out of the presidential race. The most likely replacement will be Kamala Harris, our current VP.
I have to say, it would be extremely satisfying to see two "boys will be boys" good ol' boys beaten by a woman.
For that to happen, though, will take all of us working together, and a great deal of moxie.
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