If you are on social media, then you know. You know exactly what social media culture is.
Social media culture is an attention game. It's all about how many likes and shares someone gets. It's about presenting the best of ourselves - or often, a false self - in order to appear put together and all that. In the incredibly well-done documentary, "Childhood 2.0", which talks about how social media and online engagement is affecting kids, the teens interviewed in the film even say that a person's popularity in school is pendent upon their popularity online.
Social media culture is a comparison game. It's about being and looking better than everyone else. It's about an idealized perfection, whether in beauty or strength or skill or position. It's about showing off, inciting jealousy, or proving ourselves better than someone else. It's about seeing someone who looks better than we are, and feeling less than.
Social media culture is a con of false connections. Someone might have 500 "friends" online, but live alone and never interact in any meaningful way with another human being in person. These online "relationships" do not feed the human need we all have for true connection. This is why I believe social media culture is a major contributing factor to the growing sense of loneliness in our culture.
Nowadays, with filters, background effects, and AI generated images, you can’t even believe half the stuff you see on social media. So much of it is fake.
There was a Clickbait article on my Facebook the other day, one of those articles where it’s so full of ads it slows your phone down when you scroll through it. This article compared photos of famous people from their social media versus candid photos of what they actually look like in real life. Most of the people featured were TikTok stars or Instagram models. Since I am not on TikTok or Instagram, I didn’t know many of them, but I could not believe how drastically different they looked when the two photos were compared. The things you can do nowadays with photos is truly amazing... and disturbing.
The term "catfishing" has been invented to describe people who pretend to be someone else entirely online. An older male pretending to be a younger female, for example. Oftentimes, catfishing is meant for harm - such as to scam or trick or seduce. You never truly know who you are engaging with online. The latest season of "The Circle", a reality television competition where people compete in a closed social media app to try to be the most liked player, even featured a catfish who was actually a Chatbot!
Here’s where it gets interesting (bet you didn't see this coming). One could argue.... church culture often has a lot in common with social media culture.
Church culture often presents a false self. When people go to church, it’s like they dress for war. They get all dolled up, full on hair and make-up and pressed clothes, all smiles, and yes, my life is blessed! When in fact, they may be falling apart, but will never admit it to their church community. We feel pressured to show the whole world that our lives our perfect, and think this false self presentation evangelism.
There’s a comparison game there too, isn’t there? Who’s got it all together? Who’s the most spiritual? Who’s the most blessed? Who is the best dad or parent or child? And then there is so much judgment... we judge each other. We gossip. We push people out who don't fit the mold we want them to fit into. And for good measure, we judge those outside the church, too. We want to feel superior, but this comparison game can often leave us feeling less than.
Church is often full of false connections - perhaps because we are being inauthentic with one another. It is increasingly common in our culture for people to go to church with 500 other Christians, smile at a few people, shake a few hands during greet your neighbors, and then go home without making any true connections or contact. In smaller churches, there may be even more pressure to present as perfect, leading to no one knowing how individuals are struggling, and therefore others are unable to step in and help.
We say church is for the hurting, but do we act like it is? How do we handle it when someone actually hurting comes to our door? Someone who is brave enough to admit to the need in their life?
Church since the beginning has been about community. About supporting one another and encouraging one another in their walk with Christ.
How is this church culture building community? How is this church culture supporting one another?
Consider what the Bible says about community and the role of the church:
"And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ..." - Acts 2:46-47
"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight." - Romans 12:16
"That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it." - 1 Corinthians 12:25-27
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." - Hebrews 10:24-25
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8
Does this sound like your church? Or churches you have been to? I have seen churches like this, but they have been few and far between.
I was at a conference this week where over and over again the need for supportive community was mentioned. One speaker talked about how our brains were not created for the type of modern world we currently live in, and that is why there has been a huge increase in the last fifty years or more in mental illness, suicide, and feelings of loneliness and isolation. Our brains were created for social connection.
I kept thinking... it's not supposed to be this way. God designed us to live in community with one another ("it is not good for man to be alone..."). Instead, we are on our own, in our own little homes, in our own little corners, with our devices and our social media for company. No wonder we are struggling.
It's not supposed to be this way. The church should FILL this need. The church should be a place of community and relationship building. The church should be a place of support and safety. The church should be a place where people make true, meaningful connections and no longer feel alone.
What do you need to do, to bring a sense of community to your church?
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