Moving Forward

I started this blog thinking I wanted to talk about how we can have joy even in the midst of hardship. Instead, I want to talk about trauma.

I worked as a trauma therapist for some time before shifting away from direct service to working in prevention, education, and advocacy work. Presently, in my day job, I teach workshops on trauma-informed care and other related topics. The definition of trauma which I use in my trainings is this: an event that threatens the life or bodily integrity of a person or a person's loved one and overwhelms their capacity to cope. I explain how we all have a certain capacity for coping - our internal resources for managing stress and emotional regulation, and our external resources and supports which help sustain us. When an event is more than our ability to cope, it becomes traumatic, and this can have toxic effects on our brains and bodies.

When our body undergoes a trauma, the body's stress system or "fight or flight" system is activated. Stress hormones of adrenaline and cortisol are released and a great deal of energy is utilized. Following a traumatic event, this same fight or flight response can be initiated by sensory or environmental reminders of the event, throwing someone back into the trauma as though it was re-occurring. Frequent activation of the body's stress response has severe consequences on one's overall health and wellbeing.

Oftentimes, Christians are hesitant to embrace science, but there is a lot we can learn about trauma from neuroscience. There are brain scans showing how trauma physically changes the brain in how it fires and wires. The famous book, "The Body Keeps the Score" by Van der Kolk, talks about how the body stores trauma, and how it can come out at surprising times. Trauma is not "just in our heads" or something we have to "get over". Trauma is carried in our bodies, changes our brains, and affects our behavior. 

Anytime I speak about trauma, I always make sure to also mention resiliency. I don't want to leave people feeling all doom and gloom and like there's nothing we can do. Because there is.

Resilience is often defined as "bouncing back" following trauma and adversity. I don't like this definition because it implies one can return back to the way they were before the trauma, and I don't know that that's always possible, or even desirable. Our experiences change us and shape us and make us who we are. Rather, I think of resilience as the ability to move forward following trauma and adversity. Maybe we fall down, but we get back up and we take a step forward, and then another step, and then another step. That's resilience.

Repeatedly, studies have shown that the number one resiliency factor, the number one protective factor to overcoming trauma and adversity, is relationships - supportive relationships. The more supports we have, the better off we will be - the more we will be able to cope with adverse circumstances.

This is interesting from a faith perspective for two reasons:

First, I think this points to our need for God. If supportive relationships are key to health and wellbeing, well, who brings the greatest support? Consider Psalm 46:1, "God is our refuge and our strength", or Psalm 54:4, "God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul." Romans 8:28 says the Spirit helps us in our weakness. Jesus called the Spirit our "helper". He is our sustainer. The giver of peace beyond understanding. If we turn to Him, depend upon Him, He is our strength.

Second, this emphasizes our need for others. A speaker at the child abuse prevention conference I attended last year said our brains are "wired for connection". We physiologically need connections with other people. You could say, we were created to need one another. We were created for community, yet we live in increasing isolation and separation from others. We value independence and individuality so much in this country that we have lost the value of community. The speaker proposed - and I agree - that this loss of community and connections with others is one of the greatest contributors to the increase of loneliness, mental illness, substance abuse, criminal activity, and family breakdown in our society. 

We need our community. God created us to need each other.

Isn't it interesting that Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others... as though maybe He knew. He knew that we need God, and we need our community.

We are dealing with a collective trauma right now. We are dealing with an overload of trauma - every headline and news story seemingly worse than the last. Levels of stress are high. Division is widespread. People are consistently overwhelmed.

How do we deal with it all? How do we help others deal with it all?

Perhaps, it comes back to our supportive relationships.

We cry out to God, casting our laments and anxieties and anger and fear on Him, and breathing in His peace and His grace. We rely upon Him to sustain us and be our strength.

And we find our community. Our people. Those who support us and who we support. We find the places where we are seen and heard and included. Where we belong. We rely on these communities, on these people, our supports, to sustain us and help us to cope.

And perhaps, to get back to my original intention for this post, perhaps in finding strength in God and in finding our community, perhaps there - we might even find joy.

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